[ she doesn't get what he means, when he says he isn't supposed to stay in one place long, but one thing is clear, at least to Mabel; he thinks she shouldn't care. He thinks she shouldn't be upset that he died or sad that she saw the aftermath of his fight or anything. This fact is not just frustrating, but it hits her really hard for a number of reasons, because if she's not supposed to care...what about him? Does he not care about her? At all?
It's the straw that breaks the camels back, that thought. Because Mabel hasn't properly dealt or come to terms with anything since she ended up in rota. She hasn't dealt with dipper attacking her or having to sacrifice a virgin or fining her great uncle dead in a junkyard, where he had been left to be food for the vultures. She hasn't dealt with the monster thing or forgetting her life or having to diebecause of a hunger she couldn't control. A hunger she can still feel faintly in her stomach.
She just shoved it all down, stuffed it deep inside so she could smile and laugh and joke around without worrying anyone. So she could pretend. But she can't stuff this down and when she tries it all comes up, bubbling to the surface, sticking to her throat and pricking at the corners of her eyes. ]
Stop it! Stop saying that stuff! You're like--[ she gestures vaguely as she tries to vocalize just what he is to her. Friend is too little. It's more than that, like he's--]--like my family! Like my dad away from dad!
[ it's then the tees really star and she knows she's being silly but she can't hold them back anymore. ] People love you!
[ but she feels stupid saying it all out loud, the stuff about famIly. She feels like she's just gone and jumped to weird conclusions like she always does, because why would he think the same? She's just some kid he helped out a few times, it's stupid of her to think that was anything more than kindness.
Mabel buries her nose into the neck of her scarf, pulls her arms into her sweater, and sits down to pull her legs to her chest. She's going right on into sweater town, because she feels like a little kid throwing a tantrum over something she shouldn't. ]
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It's the straw that breaks the camels back, that thought. Because Mabel hasn't properly dealt or come to terms with anything since she ended up in rota. She hasn't dealt with dipper attacking her or having to sacrifice a virgin or fining her great uncle dead in a junkyard, where he had been left to be food for the vultures. She hasn't dealt with the monster thing or forgetting her life or having to diebecause of a hunger she couldn't control. A hunger she can still feel faintly in her stomach.
She just shoved it all down, stuffed it deep inside so she could smile and laugh and joke around without worrying anyone. So she could pretend. But she can't stuff this down and when she tries it all comes up, bubbling to the surface, sticking to her throat and pricking at the corners of her eyes. ]
Stop it! Stop saying that stuff! You're like--[ she gestures vaguely as she tries to vocalize just what he is to her. Friend is too little. It's more than that, like he's--]--like my family! Like my dad away from dad!
[ it's then the tees really star and she knows she's being silly but she can't hold them back anymore. ] People love you!
[ but she feels stupid saying it all out loud, the stuff about famIly. She feels like she's just gone and jumped to weird conclusions like she always does, because why would he think the same? She's just some kid he helped out a few times, it's stupid of her to think that was anything more than kindness.
Mabel buries her nose into the neck of her scarf, pulls her arms into her sweater, and sits down to pull her legs to her chest. She's going right on into sweater town, because she feels like a little kid throwing a tantrum over something she shouldn't. ]